Monster Under the Mask

I saw you as Prince Charming, 

the one who would rescue me 

from my tower of loneliness. 

You charmed me

with your shining eyes

and your huge smile.

You said all of the sweet words

any woman loves to hear.

I was young,

not even twenty-one.

I was naive,

had little knowledge 

of any other world

besides my own.

I trusted you easily.

I’ve been guilty of that with others before,

but I had every reason to trust you.

You were my significant other,

a lover of the summer weather.

Then the summer days

morphed into winter nights,

the blue skies turned gray,

the water froze into ice,

and a dream turned into a nightmare.

Heaven morphed into Hell.

I realized the Prince Charming

I fell in love with

was a master of disguise.

Under the mask,

you were the monster I feared.


You had control over me.

My future.

My beliefs.

My identity.

You planned my future out

according to your strict standards.

From marrying at a young age

to even declaring my future career.

You challenged my beliefs

and tore them down

as false words to live by.

You took the word of God out of context

and used those words as a defense

for your unforgivable actions.

My sense of identity 

was not good enough for you.

You swore what made me a human

was toxic and could be prayed away. 

You even told me I was punished by God

for accepting myself for who I am.

You called yourself

a man of God

but there is not

an ounce of Godin you.

Not one.

You ignited a fire in my home

so I could watch 

my only safe space burn

to the ground in ashes.

You took away my peace.

You took away my trust for the world.

You took away my hope

for finding unconditional love.

To this day,

I pray for the next one,

the next woman 

you wish to “love” on.

I pray she will see you

as you truly are,

in time to save herself.

I pray she will be strong,

stronger than I was with you.

I pray she will be brave enough

to stand up for herself

just like I should have.

I pray she knows her worth

and knows she deserves better.

I should have known mine

and that I deserved

somebody who is 

incredibly much better than you. 

Till there comes a day

when I forgive you,

you will haunt me to my present

as the monster under the mask.

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Burnt Out Barista

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I Wonder Parts of Me