Monster Under the Mask
I saw you as Prince Charming,
the one who would rescue me
from my tower of loneliness.
You charmed me
with your shining eyes
and your huge smile.
You said all of the sweet words
any woman loves to hear.
I was young,
not even twenty-one.
I was naive,
had little knowledge
of any other world
besides my own.
I trusted you easily.
I’ve been guilty of that with others before,
but I had every reason to trust you.
You were my significant other,
a lover of the summer weather.
Then the summer days
morphed into winter nights,
the blue skies turned gray,
the water froze into ice,
and a dream turned into a nightmare.
Heaven morphed into Hell.
I realized the Prince Charming
I fell in love with
was a master of disguise.
Under the mask,
you were the monster I feared.
You had control over me.
My future.
My beliefs.
My identity.
You planned my future out
according to your strict standards.
From marrying at a young age
to even declaring my future career.
You challenged my beliefs
and tore them down
as false words to live by.
You took the word of God out of context
and used those words as a defense
for your unforgivable actions.
My sense of identity
was not good enough for you.
You swore what made me a human
was toxic and could be prayed away.
You even told me I was punished by God
for accepting myself for who I am.
You called yourself
a man of God
but there is not
an ounce of Godin you.
Not one.
You ignited a fire in my home
so I could watch
my only safe space burn
to the ground in ashes.
You took away my peace.
You took away my trust for the world.
You took away my hope
for finding unconditional love.
To this day,
I pray for the next one,
the next woman
you wish to “love” on.
I pray she will see you
as you truly are,
in time to save herself.
I pray she will be strong,
stronger than I was with you.
I pray she will be brave enough
to stand up for herself
just like I should have.
I pray she knows her worth
and knows she deserves better.
I should have known mine
and that I deserved
somebody who is
incredibly much better than you.
Till there comes a day
when I forgive you,
you will haunt me to my present
as the monster under the mask.