That Other College Student

I follow college-related accounts on social media. While some focuses on the pains of studying and academics, the other half focuses on the partying side of college. You are away from home; you get your fake I.Ds, go to bars or frat parties where you experience being young. People have stories of being at parties and regretting God-knows-what they did.

Then there are other college students who were not into partying and spent their Friday nights at the library—trying to scramble their course materials and figure out how they would pass that quiz on Monday.

For me, I was not at a frat party or the library on Friday nights. I was at work. 

I was one of the college students who worked long hours and never had the time to enjoy being a young adult.

I know it was typical for college students in technical colleges to be working; I went to one back in my hometown. Almost every student had jobs, and some even came to class in their work uniforms (I have done that before). But once I transferred to the University of South Carolina, I realized life as a working student was not talked about as much as going to parties and being involved with multiple clubs. People assume when you are at a university, you are either a party person or a highly academic student. I was neither. I was still a working student at the university like I was at that community college. 

If you asked me, as much I am proud of how hard I have worked my ass off, I wished I never was one because it would have saved me a lot of stress and meltdowns.

My college ID card I got before my very first semester of college at eighteen in 2014. I took the picture while wearing my work uniform as I had just gotten off from work and went straight to campus.

I never had the luxury of not having to work to focus on my studies. Throughout the seven years I have been in school, I was always working. I was working to provide myself with food, medication, and rent. As much as my parents helped with groceries and other things from time to time (which I am thankful for), they could not afford to pay my tuition or my rent in full. Before transferring to UofSC, I still had bills and had to pay my mother $50 a month to live with her. As much I know my parents would love to, they just did not afford to support my college expenses, and when I transferred to a university, my mom was so worried about how I was going to cover school and my rent (along with the fact I took out student loans). So not having a job was never an option I had the luxury to take. 

The job I had from the first semester all the way to graduation was a coffee shop near campus, which opened late at night. When I started working there, the closing time was midnight. After the whole COVID mess closed everything up for a bit, we changed to 10 PM when we reopened. The place was popular for college students, and we got tips every shift. 

As much as I am grateful for having a steady job at that place, it reminded me of my reality and compared it to my fellow college students. 

I would typically come in right after class and work seven to eight hours each shift. It does not matter if I had a massive assignment due that night or had to get up early for classes the next day; I still worked. I rarely called out, so it became normal for me to do my schoolwork on breaks or even behind the bar (out of the security camera’s view) whenever things were done, and the business was slow. I would work weekends. At one point, I worked the closing shifts from Friday to Sunday nights. I never went to frat parties, football games, or huge events on campus; I was at work.

All of the hours working and going to school came at a price for me. As I said, I never got to go to a football game and other significant college events. So, I never got to experience being “young” or have the ability to relate to my peers. Another thing I just realized is that I never had the time to do internships or jobs related to my major. This fact is biting me in the ass now as I am currently searching for jobs related to my degree, and almost all entry-level jobs require several years of experience. Now, how in the hell can I get the job with a resume full of working experiences at restaurants, a bakery, and a coffee shop? (Another topic to write on for a different day)

For an autistic, all of this sounds like a lot to do. I am not going to lie, it is hard being autistic and working full time while going to school full time. I have had huge autistic meltdowns, panic attacks in the bathrooms at work and on campus, and not slept for two or even three days straight multiple times because I was up late working on my homework and had early morning classes. 

This is why some disabled individuals are not able to get a college education. Not only is it tiring and exhausting (considering how we use more energy than non-disabled people do), some of us are struggling financially to pay our bills, living expenses, and food as is. It is no secret that finding a job to accommodate our needs while paying livable wages is a damn struggle. I was lucky enough to have a job that was neurodiverse and to work for someone who was accepting during my time at university. I am just heartbroken that it is not a reality for those who want to get college degrees and would have to work to achieve that. 

For all of us working and going to school, we are in an unfortunate situation somehow. I have met single parents, domestic abuse survivors, disabled people like myself. We all want to prove to the world that we can do extraordinary things despite going through incredible shit in our lives. 

I know that for me, as an autistic adult who grew up hearing people say that I was inadequate or lazy, I wanted to obtain a college degree so bad. Even if my mental health would become shit, I was stubborn enough to do it. Getting a bachelor’s degree is a life goal I have had since I was a child, and I was going to get that damn degree. I wanted to prove to not only to those who did not believe in me but to myself that I could do this. I have been told all of my life that I was stupid and have had my autism used against me multiple times by people. 

College is not for everyone, and that is okay. I am not saying that those who do not have degrees are less worthy. I am just bringing the light of a part of reality for those who want to get college degrees while living in a world that gives us hell for simply existing because we are different. I have no idea what I will do after this (no one does, if we are all honest); I know this bachelor’s degree was a long, seven years in the making for me. I have been through mental health crises, abusive relationships, working long-ass hours, and extreme self-doubt. I told myself at eighteen that I was going to do, and now at twenty-five, I kept to my word.